Yes Woman
Alright so heads up before we start this post…. there will be no luxury travel in this blog post, in fact if you can imagine the exact opposite of luxury that is where I am going with this.
The first few weeks of July were really rough, everything that I feared might go wrong went wrong, including all of my travel plans for the entire month.
I feel ya Bridget!
So when life gives you lemons… you could make lemonade, or you could throw them at someone … which is more my style, but this time I resisted and instead I hopped on a plane to Kenya.
Kenya being my home that is, I realise hopping on a plane to Kenya in any other circumstance might sound a bit extreme.
Anyways! During my trip I came across a blog post by one of my favourite bloggers The Londoner who said when she felt down and in a rut she turned into a “Yes Woman” and spent the year grinning from ear to ear.
Potential Yes Woman?
Well who doesn’t want to grin from ear to ear? So I thought I would give it a go.
No point being a Yes Woman unless you can bring / drag someone along with you!
Literally 5 days later my first “YES” opportunity comes up, my friend Bryony messaged saying that a group of people are going to the Maasai Mara on safari for the weekend and did I want to join.
So normally before going anywhere there is usual list of questions that comes to mind.
1. Who’s going?
2. Where are we staying?
3. How are we getting there?
4. Is food included?
5. What do we need to bring?
I did somewhat ask those questions but nobody seemed to know exactly so instead of demanding answers I just said “YES” and convinced Bryony to say yes too.
Bryony and I are selfie queens by this stage
A few hours later a message comes in saying we need to bring a mattress and a sleeping bag…
Now as much as I would love to say I am the outdoorsy adventurous type, ready at any moment to go hiking up some mountain and only stopping to pitch camp when the light turns to dusk.. I am totally not that person.
How I would like to be… photo credit: buzzingstuff
My camping usually involves a massive canvas tent with a wooden floor and a four poster bed.
Last years “camping” in the Maasai Mara
Oh and a hot shower!
So this did not order well but sure I was now a “Yes Woman” so I went along with it and brought my mattress… an actual mattress not one of those joker camping mattresses, but a real thick fluffy one; princess and the pea style.
Can you tell I don’t camp?
Friday morning arrives and we pitch up at the meeting point in a petrol station in Nairobi, me with my massive oversized mattress, blankets, and pillows.
Of course I brought pillows and a blanket
First problem of the morning arises… there are 9 people and there are only 7 seats in this tiny saloon car….
Kenya’s roads are notoriously dangerous and there are police everywhere who are only to happy to fine you for being in an overcrowded car so at the risk of looking like a total princess I refused point blank to get in.
Instead I borrowed my Dad’s car and driver (thanks Dad!) and we drove up to Narok where we were assured a bigger car would meet us and take the whole group from Narok to the Mara.
X = estimated location of the Manyatta
Once we arrived in Narok (the last major town before the bush) we did indeed find a bigger car awaiting us, albeit one with a cracked window screen, but who’s fussy?
Not our exact window screen but you get the idea!
The next surprise in store for us was that no we were not camping at a campsite, we were actually going to live in a Maasai Manyatta for the two days.
Maasai Manyatta
Yes I stayed in a mud hut.
I slept in there!!
If you have never stayed in a mud hut before (shocking) then you might not know that there are no windows so it is pitch black inside. The Maasai also cook tea on charcoal fires inside the huts so oxygen is another distant memory.
The warriors that guarded our hut at night
On the upside at least the spiders and us were nice and toasty.
At this stage I was totally freaking out!
Inside the Maasai Mara Reserve
The rest of the group of course handled it much better, and in fairness to the Maasai they did make a big effort in terms of cooking food, telling us stories, and renting a big safari car to go for game drives. If you wanted and expected a cultural experience then it was great and I did feel safe there, but it was personally not for me.
So the next plot was how to get back to Nairobi.
The slight problem being that when you are staying in a mud hut 3 hours from the nearest town with no real road near it you can’t exactly call a cab.
“Hi, can you come pick me up? You need to drive 3 hours south east of Narok, then take a left by the herd of zebra and a right by the pride of lions” … Yeah no that wasn’t going to happen.
Thankfully one of the Maasai warriors arranged a lift with one of his friends to go to Narok at dawn the next morning.. perfect.
Going for a walk around the block
As promised, at day break my lift appeared with two Maasai in the front. Interestingly the car was a small white Toyota Corolla, not exactly a bush worthy Land Rover but it seemed to be working so I got in, carrying my mattress with me.
This was the size of the car
What I didn’t know was that this car was the unofficial taxi of the whole of Maasai Land.
Maasai Land
So about half an hour later, out of absolutely nowhere this woman waves the car down, mutters a few words to the driver in Maa, and gets in.
Then we get a puncture in a place that looks like this…
Once that was fixed we trundled on again until another woman and her two kids appear out of absolutely nowhere and they flag down the car and get in.
So then there were 5 of us in the back seat bumping up and down this non existent road.. but going we were, so I said nothing.
Another hour or so passes and we stop again, this time 4 Masai women have flagged down the car and they get in… there aren’t enough seats for them all, but they somehow manage to squeeze in with 4 people now sitting in the front basically hoovering in mid air.
At some stage I really wondered how on earth I had ended up on a non-existent road in the middle of the bush in a tiny Toyota Corolla with 10 Masai?!
Basically the scene except it was a Toyota Corolla – photo credit Cottars
Of course then we broke down.
Again, the closest “village” looked like this
The driver’s next mission was to flag down a passing motorbike and persuade him to bring fuel from the nearest village, which he did.
Sorry I couldn’t take a photo, phone had died at this point! Photo credit: BBC
The motorbike re-appeared with several water bottles filled with a weird purple coloured liquid that went into the car and it worked… ask no questions.
Eventually we somehow arrived in Narok, we dropped off all the Maasai ladies at the market and found my car and driver who had come to the rescue.
Maasai Market
And therein lies the end of “Yes Woman”… and don’t worry I haven’t totally lost it, I will be blogging all about my trip with Bryony to Dubai next 🙂
Back On Form!
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